Further Light and Knowledge

Sorry. I just wanted to post this somewhere for venting. I have nobody to tell this to in person, but I had to say it.
I hate the god damn mother fucking mormon fucking church.

I'm fully active and have a prominent stake calling but I'm only going through the motions, because I'm too big of a pussy to stand up to my controlling wife and I don't want to lose my kids.

I'm so fucking pissed off about this whole situation. The church is completely full of shit and I have to sit there every god damn sunday and pretend i believe it.

Thank you for allowing me to rant. Sorry, if this is not appropriate here.

Not only is it appropriate, it's encouraged.

Don't be a stranger, Clerk. I think you'll find some sympathetic ears and viewpoints here. You're welcome to stick around and join us in any way you feel you need to.

Glad to have you.

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People Who Don't Want Their Beliefs Laughed At Shouldn't Have Such Funny Beliefs.

I did the same thing until I reached the point where I realized whatever happened when I totally quit - no matter how bad it would be - would not be as bad as staying in which was literally driving me crazy.

Seriously, get the hell out and let the chips fall where they may. Real relationships will endure while those relying only on the connection when believing in false teachings of the organization aren't worth keeping anyway.

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It's good to talk about these things and to sort out the messed up mindfuck we were in.
- SIMS

You poor darling. Vent away. We get you. Hugs.

Welcome Clerk Kent. Nice rant. I was pretty much in the same boat 10 years ago. In trying to cope and work my through the maze, I found it very helpful to read the biographies on the Recovery From Mormonism board:

http://exmormon.org/phorum/list.php?3


M.P.

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Unthinking respect for authority is the greatest enemy of truth.

~Albert Einstein

History is not history unless it is the truth.

Abraham Lincoln

We all totally understand and at times I think we all still feel some residual anger. Venting here is good. Venting at the TBM wife- not so good. I tried that with my TBM dh and he dug his heels in further. He's still completely devout, 8 years later.

You may not be able to extricate yourself completely, but I suggest at least preparing to step down from your current calling. Blame it on time restraints/ family needs if you must. I can tell you from experience that taking back ownership of your volunteer time is a HUGE confidence booster and will help you in your steps to remove yourself even further from church activity.

Good luck- and you are among kindred spirits here!

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What other people think about me is none of my business.

Yeah, I didn't that for way to long. When I first brought up my issues, my wife freaked out. I went back to "faking it, but not making it" for a long time. I'm done now, and although it hasn't solved everything, I feel less guilt and frustration.

Stake callings can be quite handy if you want to skip church every so often. Your calling requires you to go to other wards in the stake, so everybody thinks you are in another ward when really you are at home. Maybe you need to go out in the car and park down the road for half an hour just before DW comes home, but it sure beats four hours of listening to boring sanctimonious shit.

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Mankind is evil because God made man in his own image.

Wow, I totally get you...I hope that your situation has improved since you posted here back in April..All The Best..