Thanks again. My brother's behavior has been getting beyond bad lately, to a point where we can no longer rationalize that he is joking. And the way that he treats me - he never calls, never answers the phone, half the time won't even return his texts. My mother is supposed to fly into San Antonio tomorrow (where he is) and fly out of Houston next week (where we are). I called and left a message, asking him about logistics and telling him to call me, which of course he hasn't replied to. My mom tells me he feels it is my turn to come to San Antonio but the thing is, we have gone to him 3x more than he has come to us. And the last time he came to my house, it was just to crash at our place before leaving the airport. After not hearing from him all day (and waiting around for him all evening on a Friday) he called at 11PM to let us know he was just leaving San Antonio. It takes 2 seconds - 2 seconds - to send someone a text and he didn't even care enough to do that for us. And the racist comments just keep flying.
I think some of it is that he feels threatened - he always has to be the dominant person in the room and is very obsessed with image and status. My husband out-earns him by about a factor of 2x. We are quiet about money (and we really don't care how much he makes, as he is family) but I do think it shows, especially as we own a historic home near downtown Houston while he rents a bland prefab home in the burbs. He is always trying to brag about how much money he makes and I think he gets angry when my husband doesn't respond by flattering his ego and gushing about how great my brother is. Which my husband wouldn't do even if my brother out-earned him by a significant margin.
I wrote about this particular brother in greater detail on my blog, I think this might help explain him a bit better. It has been an extremely painful process having all of this happen, as he was my hero when I was a little girl. And he used to just light up the room and now he has turned into a very controlling, very unpleasant person to be around. As I said, I think this link might help you understand the situation a little bit better. http://postmormongirl.blogspot.com/2012 ... paign.html