Further Light and Knowledge

From a pre-dinner conversation with DW:

She: I don't see why you had to resign. You could have remained a member and still had your doubts about JS, etc.

Me: I didn't want to be counted.

She: Why did that matter?

Me: After I quit believing, I couldn't sing a hymn, say amen to a prayer, or listen to a talk or testimony about JS and the "restoration." Testimony meetings were the hardest thing.

She: You didn't have to go to testimony meeting... I just don't understand how you quit believing.

Me: I used my head vs. feeling.

She: I can't help feeling it's my fault. We should have had family prayers, studied the scriptures together...

Me: No, once I studied the historical facts about JS and the origins of mormonism, I had to leave.

She: Your father stayed in.

Me: Yes, and he understands why I left (he used to work with an Egyptologist). The only reason he stays is as a figurehead to his believing children and grandchildren, and to keep peace with my mother...

Mercifully, we were paged that our table was ready and we changed the subject.

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You create what you believe.
Life is a game of perpetual creation.

Wow. Saved by the bell . . . . . how lucky was that??? . . . cutting the discussion off right before the point of impact . . . wow.

I'm interested in hearing how this story plays out . . .

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"FORKS over KNIVES"--http://www.forksoverknives.com/

Statistically speaking, chances are it's going to end badly.

--KF

Yep, that's where I'm putting my money . . .

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"FORKS over KNIVES"--http://www.forksoverknives.com/

Well here's to hoping it turns out the best for everyone. Whatever that may mean.

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Do you have what it takes to be unstoppable?

I hope your DW eventually comes around. Or, at least, that you find middle ground. With TBM's though, it seems at times that they refuse to see anything past believing. They just can not fathom how you could deny it, especially after attending the temple.

Hang in there cuz.

Good luck with (hopefully continued) conversations with your wife.

This is off topic, but the thinking versus feeling title made me think of it: I consider myself one who "thought my way out," but there are people who "feel their way out," too. People who look at the culture and the hurt the church causes people and themselves and realize this just can't be good, and they leave. Without knowing about JS's fraud and all the history. Honestly, I wish I had been able to "feel" my way out. I wish I would have put my foot down against all the misogynism and homophobia and racism and fucked-up-everything that I saw as a believer and said "This just doesn't feel right. There is no way this comes from God. There is no way this is good." Kudos to all of you who were strong enough to do that. As for me, I had to wait until I broke the history barrier to be able to truly feel what I feel about the church.

Once you learn the facts, the church no longer feels right either.

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He never said it would be worth it; He only said it would be easy.

Yes, and I think some people who might never leave over historical or doctrinal issues could very well leave because of the feelings you mentioned. I often think of a quote attributed to Jonathan Swift, "It is useless to attempt to reason a man out of a thing he was never reasoned into."

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"We don't use the word 'apology'." ~ Mark Tuttle, LDS Church spokesman.

I had that feeling the 1st month after I went to anti Morg sites. I would have normally sent my resignation letter in the next day but I had made a promise a couple months before to help with my friend's reception...2 months after he was sealed since he lives in Idaho now.

I went to the church on the Sunday after the reception as the last day of church there just in case he showed up to say goodbye which he didn't btw. Oddly enough, an hour before service, I was ordered to give the opening prayer for sac meeting which pissed me off considering the state I was in. I had never felt so dirty in my life after saying that prayer. God forbid, they assign someone that duty a week in advance but no...morgbots want EVERYTHING done the hard way.

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I have a certain curiosity for life that drives me and propels me forward. - Rachel McAdams