Book of Mormon Heroes!

ruoutthere · **Posted:** Wed Jan 14, 2009 6:15 pm

How did they get John Travolta to model for Sammy the Lamanite?

leftofcentre · **Posted:** Wed Jan 14, 2009 6:47 pm

Equality wrote:

leftofcentre wrote:

http://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/en/8/87/Sodoma_Sebastian.jpg

It's amazing that one religion canonizes a guy for getting shot through with a few arrows while the other seems to brush by death. I wonder if there are links between Catholic saints and JS's characters, with the BoM guys prove their piety by escaping horrific death, and the Catholic saints become pious for meeting their ends atop a blazing pyre or with their head lobbed off or by being drowned...

Did Abinadi escape death?

I haven't the foggiest idea, but I can guess that he might have bit the big one just from your post. See, I can count on 'zero' fingers the number of times I read the BoM. Despite having attended Hicks College for one year and passing a Book of Mormon class, Seminary for three years and my mother faithfully dragging my sorry ass to church for 14 years it all went in one ear and out the other - oh, with the exception of the 'Satan has dominion over the waters' lesson.

Dawgma · **Posted:** Wed Jan 14, 2009 6:50 pm

Equality wrote:

Dawgma wrote:

Silly Dawgma. That's not a steel sword; it's a macahutil, or obsidian club. You just have to look at the artist's rendering with your spiritual eyes to see it.

Correct again Equality. I read your link and just love apologetics. I am reading Mormon America by the Ostlings and just saw an interesting parallel because of your link. It is interesting that the rank of Captain translated somehow into the BOM. It is also intersting that the rank has not been successfully connected to any Mayan, Olmec or Incan military structure. It is however discussed in a few journal notes that good old Joe assumed the rank briefly in the legion before promoting himself to napoleon status. He seemed to be fascinated with the idea of power and structure in the military.

I hope you dont want me to edit my post to reflect "macahutil." It doesnt have the same ring as sword to it.

Blackthorne · **Posted:** Wed Jan 14, 2009 7:12 pm

Merry Prankster wrote:

Next, there is the whole problem with Ammon cutting off the robbers' arms with his sword. I know Joseph Smith had an obsession with swords, but I always wonder why the Lamanite robbers simply didn't shoot Ammon with a couple of arrows. I suppose Ammon could have had some magnetic force field around him like Samuel the Lamanite that deflected arrows, but why would these guys keep physically attacking Ammon when he was cutting off everyone's arms. It sort of reminds of the black knight scene in Monty Python and the Holy Grail.

M.P.

Or how about the scene in the first Raiders of the Lost Ark where Harrison Ford is fighting in the town square. A huge menacing guy with a sword comes out swinging and Ford completely disgusted with the drama of it all just shoots the guy. Its funny because its the logical thing to do but exactly the opposite of what we've been taught by the movies (and the BOM) our whole lives.

Juggler Vain · **Joined:** Wed Aug 23, 2006 5:39 am **Posts:** 480

Lunar Quaker · **Posted:** Wed Jan 14, 2009 7:44 pm

Juggler Vain wrote:

Yet another brilliant rendering from the infamous JV

coffeenow · **Joined:** Thu Jul 10, 2008 12:53 am **Posts:** 1563

Somehow the tapir makes him look less heroic....

:lol:

fh451 · **Joined:** Wed Aug 23, 2006 4:10 pm **Posts:** 600

Juggler Vain wrote:

You know, it just astounds me how incredibly ironic and immoral that whole story is. "If you don't support freedom, we'll put you to death!!!" WTFH?? Once again, I just have to look at myself and shake my head that I ever thought Moroni was some kind of hero.

fh451

MagicCicero · **Posted:** Wed Jan 14, 2009 11:11 pm

Terrestrial God wrote:

belaja wrote:

Leroy wrote:

Equality wrote:

Let me cast my vote in favor of the proposition "Merry Prankster does not post often enough."

And, now for the link for any of you with ironclad innards. Brace yourself for the, you guessed it, comments from happy TBM customers:
http://ldsengine.com/magento/index.php/happy-customers/

I can't say you didn't warn us! That is just so puking disgusting. Reminds me of something my parents would say when I was growing up. F'n asshats. It still amazes me how stupid and beguiled so many can be with this crap.

Those comments made me sad reading about all the poor kids who were going to be getting such crapass Christmas presents from grandma and grandpa.

I know more than a few Mormon kids that probably would think these posters are "way cool." I fully expect to see them in the bedrooms of some of my ultra-TBM nephews and nieces.

Yes. Mormons want so desperately for their religion to seem cool. I'm amazed someone didn't do this sooner. Mormons are geniuses at marketing toward their own insecurities.

tolworthy · **Posted:** Fri Jan 16, 2009 10:14 am

MagicCicero wrote:

Mormons are geniuses at marketing toward their own insecurities.

Amen to that. I was just in my daughters' bedroom. So many pictures of Creepy Mormon Jesus and teenage girls. Girls pray and CMJ is in their room. Girls read and CMJ is watching them, etc. Girls want acceptance, girls want powerful boyfriends, girls want safety. Mormon marketing steps in.

Of course, this phase will pass. Soon they'll just have Del Parson's Big Brother poster. Like Winston Smith, they genuinely love Big Brother. Because if they don't they go to hell.

tolworthy · **Posted:** Fri Jan 16, 2009 10:17 am

Juggler Vain wrote:

This should be on every Mormon's wall.

Brother Kipling · **Joined:** Tue Jun 05, 2007 11:15 am **Posts:** 29

deleted

Juggler Vain · **Joined:** Wed Aug 23, 2006 5:39 am **Posts:** 480

Brother Kipling wrote:

The Tapir is too big. I think tapirs are fairly smaller. Friberg would have painted the tapir that big to make it look more heroic...

Guilty as charged. The macahutil is hero-sized too.

Brother Kipling, you are anti-Mormon for pointing that out. Go back to your Society for the Protection of Anti-Mormons (aka S.P.A.M.).

-JV

Equality · **Posted:** Fri Jan 16, 2009 5:01 pm

Brother Kipling wrote:

The Tapir is too big. I think tapirs are fairly smaller. Friberg would have painted the tapir that big to make it look more heroic...

Or maybe Moroni was a midget.

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