Further Light and Knowledge

Step - parents, concerned aunts, uncles, grandparents, etc.

My twins are four. We have a pretty established bedtime routine which happens at the same time each night, involves brushing teeth, songs and stories. Sometimes I'll even talk about what they will do the next day, if they get sleep so they're not tired.

So I usually leave after giving them both a hug.

Last night was as bad as it's been in some time. They stayed awake for over two hours after that - jumping on their beds, creating a cave of pillows between the beds, etc. They needed glasses of water, couldn't find special toys, etc. I did remind my son that he needed to find his bear himself - as during the two hours, I had found it for him at least once already.

I am not a big fan of crying it out, we did that when they were younger (babies), practicing extinguishing. I let them cry, and usually my husband or I will go into their room after 5 or 10 minutes, remind them that we love them but it's time to go to sleep.

I'm also not a fan of spanking, but I'm at a loss here. Not spanking with belts or whatever, just quick swats on the butt with an open hand. I understand why so many people are opposed to spanking, and I respect that (I really don't want to get into that debate...).

We also do not lock the bedroom door, and do not remove the toys from their room (or separate them). I guess those are all options on the table.

Any suggestions, tips, books, etc. would be appreciated.

The last thing I want is to be the parent of a SFF with no boundaries...but I want to find the moderate route.

Sincerely - aerin, a very tired mom this afternoon.

_________________
my blog

Depending on how old...try diphenhydramine. My anectdotal evidence says that my kids fall right asleep within 30 min of a dose. However, some studies say it doesn't work in children or at least infants.

Something to consider: They are probably screwing around because they want attention from you...even if it is negative attention. Dial down your reaction to them playing at bed time. Try not even saying a word and instead physically putting them in bed and walking away.

My kids are monkeys on crack at bedtime so take what I say with a grain or two of sodium.

_________________
All views expressed by jahedgpeth are the sole property of jahedgpeth inc. and subject to change by edit without notice.

no more naps. When my 4 year old takes the occasional nap she's usually up till midnight.

I try and keep them away from naps. Also consider taking them outside for a walk about 2-3 hours before bedtime. DO NOT under any circumstances take them for a walk right before bedtime as that will cause them to stay up even later.

That's all I got. We usually put the kids to bed around 9 and very rarely will they get up after we tuck them in.

_________________
I'm not sorry, I like to get laid. --Mercury

I took roughly 1/3 of my available vacation for the year to chase 12- and 13-year old boys through the woods. --Mcarp

This is a good idea. Detachment is almost always useful.



Also a good idea. We went to the park yesterday, and typically we do stay until around an hour before bedtime...something to think about. They do nap, and have a hard time waking up from their naps.

_________________
my blog

maybe a shorter nap if they really help, but I'd watch what they eat before bedtime and no sugary stuff close to supper time.

Did you mean "emotional detachment" ...or the more positive form having to do with assertiveness and boundaries etc.? I meant the latter.

_________________
All views expressed by jahedgpeth are the sole property of jahedgpeth inc. and subject to change by edit without notice.

Yup - assertiveness and boundaries.

_________________
my blog

My girls are 8,7 and almost 4. I try like the dickens to eat dinner around 5:30 or 6 and then it is bedtime routine at 8. They will typically still chatter and get into trouble for another hour but nothing that I can't tolerate. When they do get out of bed and the quick assessment has been made that they are not bleeding or dying, we typically either ignore them or snap at them to "get back to bed."

Aerin, when my son was four, he did almost exactly the same thing. Had a hard time waking up from his nap, then was very wakeful and energetic at bedtime. What I did was to gradually reduce his nap time and replace it with "quiet time", where he was awake, but doing quiet independent activities, such as reading books, doing puzzles, drawing, etc. That gave me some quiet time also, but it allowed him to fall asleep much more quickly at night. It takes awhile to adjust this schedule, but it's worth it in the long run.
Your twins sound adorable. Four years old is a really fun ( but really active ) age. -- Wndr.

Thanks everyone for the comments and suggestions.

We already have "quiet time" instead of nap time, but that is a great idea. I think they do better without a nap - but I think they also get "overtired". Reducing sugar around bedtime is also a great idea.

_________________
my blog

If they get overtired without a nap then adjust bedtime earlier. Put them to bed at 7:30 if you give up naps, for example.

My almost 4 year old is pulling this again right now. She goes through spurts where bedtime is a snap and then where it's a fight. It's just the way it goes. It's gotten worse since she's now sharing a room with the sibling right above her.

Good luck!

_________________
Sometimes I make my kids wear sombreros and scuba fins around the house. Not because there is any reason. I just want to teach them obedience.--Darth J

Hehe, yes reduce is what I meant. I learned the hard way when I let my kids have soda close to their bedtimes a few times....geez louise.

I would agree with the reducing nap times and putting bedtime earlier. My children are odd and go to bed at 9pm and will still wake up at 6am.

I gave up on a drawn out bedtime routine when the older ones started making it above an hour. We do teeth brushing, water, and bed. Only reason to leave the room is to go to the bathroom. Once they are in there, I don't care what they do as long as they don't come out and don't hurt eachother. My kids will take a mile if I give an inch on this and frankly I need sleep.

_________________
When you take a walk of shame, you need to own it. Do the beauty queen wave, stop and pose, blow some kisses, and throw some roses.

Zip it up, Buttercup! - my 4 year old.

http://nowcoffeenow.blogspot.com/

/pious voice on/ MY twins were perfect angels, always napping for two hours, then going right to bed and falling asleep within 15 minutes. Of course, that was because we had prayer, scripture reading, and more prayer. It bored them to sleep./ pious off/


My twins were so mismatched. The boy got up EARLY and ran full force all day, and fell asleep the minute he hit the pillow.
My daughter would sleep all day if allowed, and lay in bed playing with her toes, fingers, hair....anything....until midnight or more.

Now, in their teens, they haven't changed at all.
I have no words of wisdom, but I spanked mine if they got too squirrly for too long. That usually calmed the rough house down.

We never had more than one in the same room, but we did do the 'lock the door' routine for each kid. It took then about 3 weeks to understand and get into a regular rhythm - This was all 20+ years ago.

_________________
”Most of the harm in the world is done by good people, and not by accident, lapse, or omission. It is the result of their deliberate actions, long persevered in, which they hold to be motivated by high ideals toward virtuous ends.” - Isabel Paterson