Further Light and Knowledge

I had this issue with my ex. It was excruciating. I really feel for you. The only thought I had was that maybe it's a cultural difference in emotionality or expectations about marriage rather than a real lack of affection? But that's all I got. So sorry.

I try to be outwardly happy, but inside I'm miserable and depressed all the time.

Right now, it is 11:35 p.m. and I should be in bed, but I'm just sitting here feeling like I want to cry, but can't. I don't want to go to bed because then I'll have to get up in the morning and carry on with life.

(((mcarp)))

You should try and find a therapist, mcarp. You aren't the only one who feels that way in the slightest, but having someone to talk to can definitely help.

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Fear will keep the local systems in line.

{{{Tibber}}} You're a good man, you deserve to be loved. I'm sorry to hear you feel unloved. That truly sucks.

{{{Mcarp}}} A good therapist is worth any cost, I hope you can find one. I understand how you're feeling, it's no way to live. Hang in there and have some hope that you'll feel better again.

I'm so sorry Tibber and Mcarp. Mcarp, I agree with NP. Please try to talk to someone, and maybe get a check up with a dr. of your choice.

This place can be so personal at times, and we get glimpses of each others' lives that are not gotten elsewhere.

I do actually have one: I cannot post as freely here as I used to because I introduced someone to this place who now has access to any info I might share. Hopefully someday that will change, but for now it is what it is. I do lurk, read, and I love this place so at least you all know where my heart is even if I can't say much for now.

you are probably too nice to tell me that i'm one of those straight guys that bug the shit out of you

uncomfortable admission, i'd be really bummed if that were true, so don't tell (you better fuckin tell me)

Don't be silly. I love me some voodude.

omg, i'm such a kid, you made me grin from ear to ear

After thinking about this for a little while, I realized that there is actually just a certain kind of alpha-maleness that bugs the bejesus out of me (especially when it's a guy who is unaware of what an asshole he is), but that most of the straight guys I meet do not fall in that category, so it was really untrue of me to say that most straight guys bug me, because they don't.

Hell, some of my best friends are straight men. (See what I did there? *chortle*)

Hey that's normal. You aren't sure if the communication's normal. You test the waters. I'm deaf and it's always fucking awkward. But I got used to it and my friends get used to it.
Best Regards,
Kharism

Tibber and Mcarp, hugs.

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God's wool be done ~ Colbert
Oh, and 1999!!!!

I'm going deaf, and I'm pissed as hell. My world seems to shrink every year in agonizing increments.
This weekend I will participate in a fund-raising walk for ALS (aka Lou Gehrig's Disease) to support a friend who is completely paralyzed by it. Only his eyes can move voluntarily, and he uses them to spell out encouraging words on his computer to his family, friends and caretakers. How I can rage at the ringing in my ears and the aches in my joints is so petty compared to how upbeat he manages to be.

I haven't known where else to post this. I need help, if you can. My son and girlfriend, ages 32, just gave birth to a beautiful baby boy. She already has an 8 yr.old girl whom he accepts as his own. They are not married because they cannot afford the insurance required, and this way Medicare cares for the children. I am supportive of this, as he is in school full time, and working full time. She had a C-Section, and told me she was going to have her tubes tied. Two days ago, as I was driving her to the doctor, she told me she hadn't gone through with it, and hadn't told my son. I was dumbstruck. Yesterday I called her and said I'm not comfortable knowing something my son doesn't, and if you don't tell him I will. Then, I emailed HIM information about Planned Parenthood's vasectomy's cost, and said I would pony up. Since then I've received no less than 25 vile texts from her, how I've ruined her life, broken her heart, how I should have known she wanted to give my son his own daughter. WTF??? He called me on his way to school, totally calm and nice to me, saying she was at home raging against me and he would do what he could. They cannot care for the two they've got without help. He's accepted her daughter as his own. Finally, today, after being sick all day yesterday, I texted her. I asked her what her daughter would think of all of this, that we had accepted her as our own, whether or not she was ever adopted, and further, would their relationship withstand the stressors of a special needs child, since that is always a possibility?? I've helped these kids up the ying yang, and I'll be damned if I'm going to baby sit two kids. Nada. Not gonna happen. I feel totally helpless, and she's keeping the baby away from me, but I'm not going back on my offer. Advice???

No advice. Just hugs. (((pollypinks)))

My advice? They are not *kids* anymore! They can make their own decisions in life. Stop helping them.