You really don't get it, do you?
Okay, CV, you want to hash this out? I don't know what bee got in your bonnet, and from my perspective since you have consistently shown failure to address this rationally, I have no idea what you expect to get out of this threadjack, but here you go.
Just like last time, when you called me sexist (yeah, we'll get to that), you butted your fucking head in where it didn't belong. I didn't violate any board rules, but you had to go in and try to "explain" why you might have to "rein" me in. Instead of slamming Figaro, I merely said that I'd better not and that he's your little conserva-pet. But no, you can't keep your fucking nose out of shit - - got to put on the moderator hat and intercede with fake authority where it wasn't needed. You did that before, when you decided that the sentence, "need a tissue?" was an egregious sexism. I know you don't understand what I'm saying, but the fact of the matter is that I only get mad at you when you decide it's your right to interject your moderator authority when it's not necessary. You, and jb-defendoNP, can go ahead and say that you need to step in anytime anywhere and it's not for me to say . . . blah blah blah, but the fact of the matter is that nothing was out of hand this time and nothing was out of hand last time when you decided that the thread better be about you vs. me.
This is the thread that has you so enraged. I read over it to see whether the perspective of another year has changed how I read it, and nope, it hasn't.
Here are your gripes, then:
* That I called you sexist.
* That your feelings were hurt.
* That I trivialized your complaint.
* That I caused you character injury.
And here are my responses:
* I never called you sexist. What I in fact said was that your words carried sexist connotations that you were probably unaware of, and that could be hurtful to individuals whose lives have been negatively impacted by similar words. This is similar to the way that calling something "lame" as a pejorative can be hurtful to the differently-abled (which was the subject, relevantly, of a thread contemporaneous to the one in question). You consistently refuse to make the connection that people can say things they don't really mean that hurt others, and that's different from being a deliberate ogre.
Fine. If that's the criteria you want to use, then I'm not calling you an ignorant fucking asshole - I'm just saying that you have ignorant assholish tendencies. See, I'm not calling you a name. I'm just saying that you have these tendencies, just like we all do. Perfectly within the rules you've set forth.
* I am sorry your feelings were hurt. But I stand by my original statement: that denigrating someone by accusing them of too much emotion has pretty rotten sexist connotations.
You still see nothing wrong with butting your head in and declaring me a sexist . . . oh I'm sorry - that I was uttering a sexism, like you blrt out ignorant fucking assholishness. You don't know how to apologize. You're not sorry that you might have done something to hurt my feelings and denigrate my character, you're sorry that I might have taken offense at your innocence. I am sure you don't understand why I might think that's total bullshit. But you're free to absolve yourself of any complicity in my feelings because you're a moderator and you couldn't possible have done anything wrong.
* Yep, I'm guilty of trivializing your complaint. I have already addressed the shit out of your complaint in that thread, and if you couldn't set aside your wounded pride then to understand that I didn't call you sexist, I have no illusions that you're going to do so now. And frankly I doubt you're even trying to listen to me reasonably, so what point in writing more about it?
You've actually never addressed my complaint. You've explained time and time again how I shouldn't be offended. You've explained that any criticism of emotions is sexist. You've absolved yourself of any part in my complaint. But you haven't actually understood what my complaint is, nor have you accepted any role in it. But you've done a great job of pretending that since I disagree that I must be unreasonable, for anything you, as moderator does must be right. You couldn't possibly be guilty of anything . . . right? Are you starting to see where your idea of "reasonable" is just another way of you denying and mitigating culpability?
* You do a great job of injuring your character yourself. You certainly don't owe any of that to me.
So, because you don't like me, unfairly insulting me is okay in your book. I happen to put a lot of stock in character and in honor. I don't lie. I don't believe in bigotry, nor do I use race nor gender nor orientation to demean or denigrate anyone. I might be insufferable and intolerant, but I never gossip, I never misrepresent, I never cheat nor steal. I didn't serve in the military because I thought it might be cool, I served because I believed that there are things worth giving my life for - and things worth taking a life, among those is defending the freedoms and rights of those who would otherwise be marginalized or victimized. These are very personal issues to me, and they are very important.
One of the reasons I like being here in the CC of FLAK is because of how much I've learned about power - Dominance and Subordinance - in discussions with Cumom. Figuring out new ways to look at our society fascinates me. But under no circumstances do I buy into your "guilty until proven innocent" stance with regard to sexism - - - "We can't help it because of the patriarchy .. . " I call bullshit on that today and I called bullshit on it last year. We can help it . . . and I always presume innocence until someone crosses a clear line.
You're obviously still outraged. There's absolutely nothing I can do about that.
Because you are obviously powerless over your own words and actions and are incapable of doing anything wrong. Such innocence. /snark
You clearly cling to a perception of yourself that is free from all negative traits (or at least from sexism), and quite frankly that is ludicrous. Both of us (and that means YOU and that means ME) are products of a patriarchal society, and regardless of how egalitarian our upbringings were or adult interactions are, and how carefully we police our behavior and campaign for the oppressed, we are still going to unwittingly display some oppressive behaviors. You think you're immune to that fate? Then tell me you've never, inwardly or aloud, called anyone a bitch.
And this being your worldview is sad commentary on your personal expectations. But it doesn't apply to me. I never said I was free of negative traits, but I'm not a sexist, and it offends me that you presume guilt from me - and everyone else apparently - without even knowing me.