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I grew up a Mormon boy. Now I'm here.
Oh, you want more details....
I was Born in the Covenant, up in the Pacific Northwest, near Seattle. Those who knew me described me as generally happy and smart. I wanted to be so many things when I grew up. I read lots and lots of books (there was a book in my elementary school library, on logic -- I was the only one who ever read it, according to the librarian). I played several instruments, and have a decent singing voice. But when I discovered computers in junior high, that decided things. It was a game called Original Adventure that hooked me -- some of you might not know the game, but it's an old-style text-based adventure (We didn't have none of this modern 3D crap, and that's the way we liked it!). Anyway, it hooked me on the creative potential of computers. Fortunately, it turns out I'm pretty good at programming.
Like all good Mormon boys, I went to BYU. One semester before my mission; several afterwards. I graduated with a degree in Computer Science. People would ask me if I wanted to stay in Utah after I graduated. I would tell them that I would only stay if someone paid me. Someone did, and I worked for one company after another for many years. You would probably recognize some of the names; you certainly would recognize where I work now.
Despite going to BYU, the Church and I never really got along too well. I was considered very spiritual as a youth; I held the leadership callings such boys hold, but was generally considered "nerdish," and thus, didn't fit in too well. But I was still "spiritual," by which I mean I knew all the answers to the questions in class. I liked reading, so scripture study in seminary was a breeze, and I liked reading other church books, too. I was raised by parents who took my to church, held important callings, and taught me to volunteer and participate. We spent time at the church farm, I helped set up and take down chairs when other people were already running for the cars; you know the kind of kid. I don't say this with any pride--I wished I didn't have to do any of that. Growing up, my family was one of those who "you could always count on." I liked the church, mostly--Sunday could be boring, but I got to see those friends I had in the church, and I liked the youth dances. I used to go to two or three every month, in neighboring stakes. I went to Especially for Youth, at BYU. I went on temple trips to the Seattle Temple, and even sang at the cornerstone laying.
BYU is where my idealistic view of the mormon church foundered. I had always believed, from my extensive reading of church books, that the church was serious when it said that it embraced all truth. I read a great deal of science, and understood it as well as a laymen does, I suppose. I assumed that the church leaders and member who objected to an ancient earth, or evolution, or whatnot, were just misinformed. Being at BYU convinced me that most of the church was misinformed. Several events led me to that conclusion, including the discovery of a book about organic evolution that I found in the BYU Library. It had been censored--blackened with pen, with some pages ripped out. Someone at BYU, some Mormon, had done this, and thought it was the right thing to do.
Even in my teens I began to realize that the church was not on my side, and would not stand by me if I did the right thing. They knew I would keep coming each week and paying tithing, so when lesser-actives harassed or bullied me, the leadership wouldn't stop them, for fear they would stop attending. Even if I had wanted to stop coming, my parents probably wouldn't have allowed it. To be honest, the idea really didn't occur to me.
Long story short: I got married, had kids, lived in Utah until a few years ago, when I moved my family to California, across the bay from the City of San Francisco. After living in Utah so very long, it was wonderful to be near the ocean again. Not to mention being around people who are different from each other!
I still attend church with my family, but on the one-hour block. I have a calling I generally enjoy, and am in a pretty good place in my emotional life. It's amazing to me how a lifetime of stress, heartache, and pain can just fell away as soon as I admitted to myself that the church simply wasn't "true."
I'll end with this metaphor: We all know how, a long time ago, people thought the Earth was a the center of universe. A man named Ptolemy described the solar system as a bunch of spheres, each inside the next, that moved in circular epicycles (circles being considered a perfect form). The problem was, the model didn't match reality. So, later astromomers modified the Ptolemaic system to include more epicycles, smaller ones, whose centers moved along the larger spheres. As their observations of reality increased, more epicycles were added to the existing ones, to make everything match up. The model became incredibly complicated.
Then Copernicus arrived on the scene, and he moved the Sun to the center. Suddenly, most of the problems in the Ptolemaic system just vanished. Remember that the Ptolemaic system explained what was seen in the sky; it was just much simpler to use the Copernican system.
The Mormon church is like that. As reality intrudes (archeological research, DNA investigations, discovery of the BoA papyri, blacks and the priesthood, etc.), the church (usually the apologists) just add another epicycle, and consider it explained. But, when you replace their center with something else, everything makes sense. Now I know that the Sun is at the center, and all is right with the world(s).
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