I can't say "I give you offense" and have you been offended.
jbsexman, this may be technically true but one can certainly try to make someone take offense, or not give a shit if someone is offended, or try hard not to offend. Intent is harder to judge in writing than in person, though, as you mentioned.
One more question for you, jbsexman... Is your IRL name Doyle Carnegie, by chance? I've always heard that Dale Carnegie had an evil twin from whom he was separated at birth.
All the same, though, KF, the choice to take
the offense is every bit as much of a choice as the person that chooses to offer
the offense, their efforts be damned.
For example, were I different person, I could easily take offense to the fact that you have altered my name from JBSaxman to JBSexman, even though offense might not have been intended.
I like to think that it was indeed Dale Carnegie that was the evil twin. Of course, I always thought the title "How to Lose Friends and Alienate People" was more of a catchy title that "How to Win Friends and Influence People". But that's just my opinion.