Hi, all. In starting, I would like to say that this board is amazing, but it's not quite as amazing as me. What with my eighty-figure salary, supermodel wife, and roguish good looks, there are very few things that can compare to myself, except maybe other genius-level scientists. I have twelve degrees and the envy of every man, woman, and goat (and in case you were wondering, those degrees are in Art, Literature, Biology, Chemistry, Economics, Dentistry, Veterinary Medicine, Medicine, English, Fahrenheit, Celsius, Kelvin, and Kevin Bacon), so I will accept your praises and tears of shame at your unworthiness to stand in my presence. Anything you say against me or my obviously superior worldviews will be met with a snort of contempt from my Adonis-like nose of perfection, followed closely by a condescending and possibly patronizing "tsk-tsk" at your pathetic mortal moaning. If you are particularly troubling, I might deign to smite your head with barbed wit that will no doubt be utterly lost on your inferior, ape-like comprehension.
I would also like to bear my testimony that none of the above is true and that I am a huge smartass with too much time and too little sleep on his hands. The real me is a 23-year-old ex-Mormon-as-of-April wannabe wit currently making attempts to flee Podunk Mormonville, AZ in a bad way. I was born into the Mormon church the youngest of eleven kids, had lots of happy fun time childhood issues that stemmed from deep-seated confusion, and came out a pansexual dude with some bitterness and a healthy desire to figure out what that there World thing was about. It definitely feels like I'm getting a new lease on life.
Boring obligatory bit: I have an unhealthy obsession with Cool Shit Science Can Do, a love of anthropology, literature, cats (and all animals, but cats are obviously the best species on the planet; the two I own told me so), sleep, food, music, long walks on the beach, cussing up a motherfucking shitstorm, and things that make me think.
So hi. If you indulge my sense of humor, I'll promise not to pee on your furniture. (I'll also answer whatever questions you might have.)
Hmmm, Bacon. Welcome NGS