Further Light and Knowledge

Hi, all. In starting, I would like to say that this board is amazing, but it's not quite as amazing as me. What with my eighty-figure salary, supermodel wife, and roguish good looks, there are very few things that can compare to myself, except maybe other genius-level scientists. I have twelve degrees and the envy of every man, woman, and goat (and in case you were wondering, those degrees are in Art, Literature, Biology, Chemistry, Economics, Dentistry, Veterinary Medicine, Medicine, English, Fahrenheit, Celsius, Kelvin, and Kevin Bacon), so I will accept your praises and tears of shame at your unworthiness to stand in my presence. Anything you say against me or my obviously superior worldviews will be met with a snort of contempt from my Adonis-like nose of perfection, followed closely by a condescending and possibly patronizing "tsk-tsk" at your pathetic mortal moaning. If you are particularly troubling, I might deign to smite your head with barbed wit that will no doubt be utterly lost on your inferior, ape-like comprehension.

I would also like to bear my testimony that none of the above is true and that I am a huge smartass with too much time and too little sleep on his hands. The real me is a 23-year-old ex-Mormon-as-of-April wannabe wit currently making attempts to flee Podunk Mormonville, AZ in a bad way. I was born into the Mormon church the youngest of eleven kids, had lots of happy fun time childhood issues that stemmed from deep-seated confusion, and came out a pansexual dude with some bitterness and a healthy desire to figure out what that there World thing was about. It definitely feels like I'm getting a new lease on life.

Boring obligatory bit: I have an unhealthy obsession with Cool Shit Science Can Do, a love of anthropology, literature, cats (and all animals, but cats are obviously the best species on the planet; the two I own told me so), sleep, food, music, long walks on the beach, cussing up a motherfucking shitstorm, and things that make me think.

So hi. If you indulge my sense of humor, I'll promise not to pee on your furniture. (I'll also answer whatever questions you might have.)

Welcome! Any friend of cats is a friend of mine.

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Fear will keep the local systems in line.

As I read your intro I thought maybe Kittywaymo had an unknown son from your description.

I try not to think too much because it generally interferes with whatever alco or narcotic bliss I might be indulging in that particular day.

Welcome in, piss where you want to. Tibber does and we just add another plant or rug to cover it.

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"I predict future happiness for Americans if they can prevent the government from wasting the labors of the people under the pretense of taking care of them."-Thomas Jefferson

The sound you hear is my heartstrings being plucked.

Welcome to the party. We enjoy profanity, threads while drinking, the occasional kerfuckle and every so often some intelligent discourse. You sound like you'll fit right in sir.

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"Soon, gay people will start falling out of the sky. Onto our homes. Onto our churches and onto our families." - A Gaythering Storm

The only thing better than threads while drinking are threads that don't get redacted the following day!

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The Internet didn't kill the church. The church killed the church. The internet just read the last rites and published the obituary. -- Tolworthy

Yes, I thought of her too. What a trip she is.

Welcome NGS.

hello darling.....I wasn't aware that you were the youngest of eleven children.

I am aware of your wonderful youth, and wit.

I am so glad you showed up.

Will you write poems to me here too?

Ladyinthehat

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"Jenny, I suckle at the teet of your wine..." ~ruoutthere

I can't deny that she was an inspiration. "Immature assholes imitate; mature assholes steal." (With apologies to T.S. Eliot.) I'm clearly not a mature asshole.

And for you, LITH!:

Sweet lady with the gard'ner's thumb
O'er distant fence, I've seen her
'Neath hat of precious asylum
No more declared "a wiener"!

(I'm not at my best this morning.)

Thanks, all, for the welcome! I have a feeling I'm going to like this place.

Edit: And I forgot to mention: Twinkietamer, that is a face not easy to resist, and that cat is amazing. Is the perch-on-shoulder thing a regular occurrence?

Hmmm, Bacon. Welcome NGS

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”Most of the harm in the world is done by good people, and not by accident, lapse, or omission. It is the result of their deliberate actions, long persevered in, which they hold to be motivated by high ideals toward virtuous ends.” - Isabel Paterson

Is he not an ANGEL!??!? He is our naughty little nasty angel with the heavenly potty mouth. Ahh, bliss.

Welcome NGS!

I was getting all excited and thought maybe we would have a little troll baiting session with Kittywaymo's younger brother or sumpin.

But actually, it's even better this way.

Welcome, NotGaryStu. I loved your poem to LITH.

(And if you are NotGaryStu, then who IsGaryStu?)

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The apple cannot be stuck back on the Tree of Knowledge; once we begin to see, we are doomed and challenged to seek the strength to see more, not less. ~ Arthur Miller

Hi.

I don't really have anything to say but I'm trying to be welcoming and stuff.

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"For some reason, mormons have this 'I can talk shit but it doesn't mean I'm a judgmental asshole' attitude." -Junesu

I blog.

Yep, he looks like I sound.

Welcome to the shindig, NotGaryStu!

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I reject your reality and substitute a Star Trek episode of my own choosing.

Teehee!

He used to do it more often. He's a rather large breed (Maine Coon) so he's usually sitting rather awkwardly. That time he perched quite nicely.

Don't let the smile fool you, usually my mouth is open and I'm shoveling food into it. Mmmmmm food.

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"Soon, gay people will start falling out of the sky. Onto our homes. Onto our churches and onto our families." - A Gaythering Storm

Food is a wonderful thing, it shouldn't be shamed. And I thought he looked Maine Coon-ish. My Siamese mix loves to hop up onto my shoulders and catch a ride when I walk around the house, but I sadly have no photographic proof of this phenomenon.