I wonder if it would also be useful to do a podcast on "we knew each other for three weeks and then got engaged and married within two months - we felt the spirit and knew the other person was the 'right' person for us because they were an RM or devoted member".
I agree. It would be very easy to attribute my own divorce to leaving the church - I stopped attending, and divorce followed as night follows day. But "she divorced me because I left the church," while technically accurate, is misleading. I don't blame the church for the divorce. I blame the church for the marriage.
The real problem, as aerin said, is that we should never have got married in the first place. It was an act of blind faith in the prophets. We had very little in common, and for both of us it was completely against our natures. I had never seriously dated, but I was a returned missionary and well aware of my duty. She had never intended to get married, but was a new convert in the middle of the most intense love bombing she's ever had, and "marry a RM and live happily ever after" was all she heard.
"She left me because I left the church" makes it sound like her fault. She is just as much as victim as I was - probably more so. She gave up all her old (non-member) dreams, and sold them all for the Mormon fantasy marriage, and it never happened. At least I can start again, but she is still in the church, still dreaming the impossible dream.
I agree with everything ever posted by Hellmut, Philo and Susan D.
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